I'm torn between these two attitudes:
I've either avoided the problem all together with the fear of failure or I see/imagine myself differently. I decided to go to an audition to become a contestant on NBC's Biggest Loser. The tryouts were held at the E Center in West Valley City on Saturday, March 12, starting at 8 AM. They asked people not to line up before 5 AM...
I have a hard time trying to eat healthy. My husband, Dan, has always been on the skinny side and hates eating most fruits and vegetables. If I try to slip in some low fat ingredient in our family meals, he can usually figure it out and then refuses to eat it, setting a bad example for our two kids, Chloe and Seth. I know that I have to change my lifestyle if I want to have a life. I want to be a mother for my children. I want to be able to get up and down on the couch, on the floor, on practically anything without huffing and puffing or having to say or think "1, 2, 3 heave". I want to be able to ride bikes with my family and go skiing. We have a small fishing boat that we take out as much as we can. Because there is no deck or landing on the back, like a ski boat, there is no physical way I can pull myself into the boat from the water. I desperately want to be able to jump in the lake on a hot day when the fishing is slow. I want to be able to hoist myself back into the boat instead of having to be satisfied with being splashed on. I also want to be a wife who enjoys making love. I can't imagine being turned on by myself. I feel depressed for my husband. I want to be an active person, mother and wife. I want to live my life, not just watch it go by while sitting on the sidelines.
I started going to weight watchers (again) 8 weeks ago and have been learning their new points plus program.
So far I have lost just over 16 pounds and feel really good. I've been walking and walking and walking. I earned the 5K charm from WW and have since done a second. It really isn't that far to walk, just 3.1 miles but it sure makes me proud of myself!!!
I am loving the program and have enjoyed all of the fruits and vegetables that I can eat. I have been taking a water aerobics class each week. I hope to start a Zumba class soon, as well and with a little ibuprofen for the aches and pains, I am excited to exercise and love getting it over first thing each day! Hopefully soon I will be able to ride my bike with the kids without bottoming out the tires, woo-hoo!
The biggest loser audition was a joke, I woke up that day at 3 AM. I took too long of a very hot shower then shivered until I got into my office and sat in front of my space heater to do my hair. I started to blow dry the front of my hair and all of the sudden the power went out. I feared this would screw up my plans for the day (how do you get your car out of the garage without electricity?) but when I stumbled my way out of the office, I noticed Seth's light still on and realized I had only tripped the circuit breaker. I left the house as quietly and quickly as possible heading to west valley. I pulled into the 'E Center' with 20 minutes to spare and was pleasantly surprised that the line wasn't that long. I searched for a familiar face but just took my place at the end. Laura, Brittany and Erin soon joined me for support. They made the wait like a little party, even in the rain. By 8 AM they had opened the doors and shuffled all of us fatties inside. I got the number 107 and was called back for an interview with the fifth group. They took twelve people into a semi circle and asked us each the same three questions. Tell me your name, age and occupation. What is your greatest achievement? How much weight do you want to lose? and why now?
My name is Liz Davis. I'm 34 and a home maker. My greatest achievement is my family, I have been married for 13 years, consecutively, to the same wonderful man and have two beautiful, healthy children. I would like to loose 200 pounds and have come to the point in my life that I feel I can take a turn to take care of myself first. My kids are old enough and I should have enough time in the day to do what I can so that I can get off the side lines and start enjoying life!
I hope my sisters Erin and Laura (with Brittany) know how much it meant to me that they came and supported me. I never got a call back but my kids still ask me if I will be on the show every time I come home from my weight watchers meeting!
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