Tender Mercy in the Pool

I was swimming at the Clearfield Aquatic Center starting my second hour of water aerobics when the women in the jazzy wheelchair came zooming in.  Months ago, she brought in headbands with pink, sparkly antennas for everyone to wear to help her celebrate reaching a weight loss goal.

(August 27, 2025)

She hadn’t been to the pool for some time and I couldn’t remember her name.  She is very friendly and we have had conversations in the past about our families while sloshing around in the shallow end.  Today we discussed our children and their missions and she asked me how many kids I have and how old they are. I talk about Chloe and Seth to everybody who will listen – they are my joy. I shared how old Chloe is, how long she’s been married and that they just blessed my first grandchild.  Then I said how old Seth is and that he is 12 weeks into his mission. I don’t normally share about my first daughter, Dayna, but today I did.  I mentioned that Dayna was diagnosed with a fatal case of Skeletal Dysplasia at her 20 week check up. I explained how tiny her rib cage was and that when my water broke at 34 weeks, they did an ultrasound just before delivery and her ribs only measured 18 weeks. We watched her heartbeat on the screen. She was born shortly after that and weighed only 2 pounds 14 ounces. She was so tiny, but we were able to give her a name and a blessing there in the hospital and most of our family was there while she lived for almost 2 hours.

At this moment I remembered that this woman’s name is Tanya and a quirky look came over her face.  She said something like, I hope this doesn’t come across as weird but I have a gift and I can sense spirits.  I can feel your daughter is here with you, with us, right now.  She wants me to tell you how proud she is of you and that you are a wonderful mother. She said that there was nothing I could have done differently with my pregnancy.  That Heavenly Father selected me to be her mother and because I was such a choice spirit, my daughter only needed to come to Earth for her body.  She has an important work to do but that I don’t need to worry about her.  She is great.  Tanya said that Dayna was with me during my surgery and that she thinks I am so brave and strong and she is so proud of me.  She said that she has been nearby when we get together as a family and that her laugh is just like mine.  She said that she has been close when we are struggling and have needed help. She has been there. She said that Dayna wanted me to know that she is tall and that I am the shortest one in the family.  That her and Chloe look alike and that she has dark brunette hair. Tanya said that when I dream of Dayna, I need to dream of her as an adult and not a little baby. And that I should talk about her more often. 

Dayna will be 24 years old next month and over the years I have felt a special bond with other mothers who have lost a child. I have worn waterproof mascara as I am prone to tear up at any given moment. Tayna and I cried in the pool, we hugged and cried and hugged some more.  The last class left the pool area around 11:00 but we didn’t get out of the pool for another hour.  I thanked Tanya profusely for sharing all this with me and she told me she loved me and hoped I had a good day.  I went to the locker room and cried some more in the showers and on my way home I called to tell Chloe about it all, but I was driving and hard to keep the tears to a minimum. 

I am so thankful for my family. I am so grateful that we have a Heavenly Father that loves us and wants us to find Joy! My family brings me joy.  I know that when I have struggled, that Dayna and my Dad have been near me, helping me, guiding me, loving me.  In my prayers, I have charged both Dayna and my Dad to fortify my children, to give them strength and to keep them safe over the years.  This experience has just confirmed what I know to be true. That families are forever and that our ancestors are so grateful for the temple work we do here on this earth so that we can be together.