I was swimming at the Clearfield Aquatic Center starting my
second hour of water aerobics when the women in the jazzy wheelchair came zooming
in. Months ago, she brought in headbands
with pink, sparkly antennas for everyone to wear to help her celebrate reaching
a weight loss goal.
(August 27, 2025)
She hadn’t been to
the pool for some time and I couldn’t remember her name. She is very friendly and we have had
conversations in the past about our families while sloshing around in the
shallow end. Today we discussed our
children and their missions and she asked me how many kids I have and how old
they are. I talk about Chloe and Seth to
everybody who will listen – they are my joy. I shared how old Chloe is, how
long she’s been married and that they just blessed my first grandchild. Then I said how old Seth is and that he is 12
weeks into his mission. I don’t normally share about my first daughter, Dayna,
but today I did. I mentioned that Dayna
was diagnosed with a fatal case of Skeletal Dysplasia at her 20 week check up.
I explained how tiny her rib cage was and that when my water broke at 34 weeks,
they did an ultrasound just before delivery and her ribs only measured 18 weeks.
We watched her heartbeat on the screen. She was born shortly after that and weighed
only 2 pounds 14 ounces. She was so tiny, but we were able to give her a name
and a blessing there in the hospital and most of our family was there while she
lived for almost 2 hours.
At this moment I remembered that this woman’s name is Tanya
and a quirky look came over her face.
She said something like, I hope this doesn’t come across as weird but I
have a gift and I can sense spirits. I can
feel your daughter is here with you, with us, right now. She wants me to tell you how proud she is of
you and that you are a wonderful mother. She said that there was nothing I
could have done differently with my pregnancy.
That Heavenly Father selected me to be her mother and because I was such
a choice spirit, my daughter only needed to come to Earth for her body. She has an important work to do but that I
don’t need to worry about her. She is
great. Tanya said that Dayna was with me
during my surgery and that she thinks I am so brave and strong and she is so
proud of me. She said that she has been
nearby when we get together as a family and that her laugh is just like
mine. She said that she has been close
when we are struggling and have needed help. She has been there. She said that
Dayna wanted me to know that she is tall and that I am the shortest one in the
family. That her and Chloe look alike and
that she has dark brunette hair. Tanya said that when I dream of Dayna, I need
to dream of her as an adult and not a little baby. And that I should talk about
her more often.
Dayna will be 24 years old next month and over the years I
have felt a special bond with other mothers who have lost a child. I have worn
waterproof mascara as I am prone to tear up at any given moment. Tayna and I
cried in the pool, we hugged and cried and hugged some more. The last class left the pool area around
11:00 but we didn’t get out of the pool for another hour. I thanked Tanya profusely for sharing all
this with me and she told me she loved me and hoped I had a good day. I went to the locker room and cried some more
in the showers and on my way home I called to tell Chloe about it all, but I
was driving and hard to keep the tears to a minimum.
I am so thankful for my family. I am so grateful that we
have a Heavenly Father that loves us and wants us to find Joy! My family brings
me joy. I know that when I have
struggled, that Dayna and my Dad have been near me, helping me, guiding me,
loving me. In my prayers, I have charged
both Dayna and my Dad to fortify my children, to give them strength and to keep
them safe over the years. This experience
has just confirmed what I know to be true. That families are forever and that
our ancestors are so grateful for the temple work we do here on this earth so
that we can be together.
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